There’s much more to kissing than physical pleasure.
Kissing is an act filled with meaning. When two lovers kiss, it goes beyond two lips meeting: the emotions and the meanings each kiss holds are deeper than the physical connection.
Why do we kiss?
We kiss with distinct intentions, depending on who and why we’re kissing.
You will kiss your parents or your child with different emotions than when you kiss your partner.
When you kiss someone — regardless of who they are to you — you do it as a greeting, an apology, a gesture of “I missed you”, as an act of tenderness, love or passion.
Kissing might be the most significant way people connect.
This article will be dedicated to the kisses between people who are in a relationship. I’ll show you how important it is to keep the delicious and bonding act of kissing burning.
The first kiss my partner and I had was incredibly passionate. We were hungry for each other.
We had been talking and meeting virtually for weeks and we agreed to meet in person as long as we’d respect social distancing (this was right after the lockdown started in England.)
But on our third walk in the forest, he couldn’t resist our chemistry anymore.
I will always remember our first kiss: him, looking at me from the other end of the 2 metres distance, his eyes changing from a sweet gaze to a horny look. He walked towards me, said “FUCK IT” and threw me against an enormous tree, kissing me deeply and passionately.
He pressed his body against mine, our mouths connected, our tongues savouring each other, his hand on my hair, pulling my face closer to his (as if it was possible to be closer!)
I have no idea for how long we kissed, but it was extremely sensual. I will never forget it.
Perhaps you have a similar first-kiss story, or maybe you have a bad memory of it. But I’d say you still remember the first kiss with your partner. And even with previous partners. I remember lots first kisses.
Kisses can make unforgettable memories. That’s how important they are.
But kisses aren’t important only at the beginning of the relationships. They are valuable in the long term. Let’s see why:
6 Reasons Kissing Is So Important For Your Relationship
1. Kissing promotes emotional intimacy
It’s through kissing you and your partner connect in a deep, emotional way.
When you kiss, you’re vulnerable, your defences are down; you give yourself to the moment and to the person you’re kissing.
Kissing connects you to the other person; it promotes a sense of togetherness that other intimate acts might not do.
Sex and hugging are also extraordinary ways to emotionally connect to your partner, but kissing has a language of its own.
I can kiss without having sex, but I won’t have sex without kissing — there will be something missing; the connection will be incomplete.
2. It strengths the bond with your partner
Having a strong emotional bond with your partner is a requisite for a long-lasting, happy relationship.
When you kiss, your brain releases the “happiness hormones” oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin. They have that denomination because they help to promote positive feelings, including happiness and pleasure (source).
Kissing also lowers your cortisol levels, which is the stress hormone.
During the kiss, your brain releases this powerful cocktail of chemicals that cause pleasurable, relaxing sensations.
The rush of oxytocin — also called the love hormone — released during a kiss has the potential to trigger feelings of bonding and affection.
Kissing promotes bonding, which strengthens your relationship; it connects you to your partner on a deep level.
3. Kissing increases trust
No relationship can survive without trust.
To have a healthy, happy relationship, trust must be a solid trait. Trusting your partner means you count on them, regardless of what the matter is. Without it, no couple will properly function.
Trust is also linked to oxytocin: this love hormone boosts trust between humans (source).
This means that kissing your partner will help to maintain your mutual levels of trust in a positive balance. Of course, this doesn’t mean that if your partner betrays you, kissing will make you forget it.
4. Kissing boosts your sex drive
Passionate kisses often start as a delicate smooch. And passionate kisses often lead to sex — which is a crucial part of a relationship.
Sex is not only beneficial for your physical, emotional and mental health as it’s one of the most important ways of maintaining your relationship flame alive and your connection tight.
Kissing is a great way to start foreplay and will undoubtedly be a crucial part of your sexual happiness.
5. Women who kiss during sex are more likely to orgasm
I can’t imagine a relationship without kissing. I love to kiss, passionately or smoothly. The emotions that flood me when I kiss the person I love are unique.
I could say the same about having sex with someone I love, except I can’t. Not if it doesn’t include kissing.
In my past, when I had sex with men I didn’t have romantic feelings, kissing was also mandatory — my arousal is substantially fed by kissing.
And I’m not alone on this.
This study showed that women were more likely to orgasm if their last sexual encounter included deep kissing.
Other actions also triggered those women’s orgasms, like “manual genital stimulation, and/or oral sex in addition to vaginal intercourse”, but deep kissing was one contributor to their orgasm.
We can’t generalise this conclusion, of course.
For instance, this survey developed with almost 1.500 individuals showed that people under thirty were significantly more likely to indicate they “did not kiss because kissing would have been too intimate with their partner.”
But the survey doesn’t make the correlation between kissing and orgasms, so we can only conclude that there are many people who don’t enjoy kissing during sex (which, for me, was surprising.)
My experience is that I’m more probable to orgasms if my partner and I kiss. And I have stronger orgasms if we kiss during sex.
6. Kissing reduces stress and anxiety
As we saw above, besides releasing the happiness hormones, kissing also lowers cortisol, the stress hormone.
You must have felt it yourself: if you’re stressed or anxious and your partner gives you a devoted kiss, your mood will change. It might not reverse it completely, but the kiss helps you to calm down.
A study conducted with 52 adults who were in cohabitating romantic relationships showed that kissing had a positive impact on relationship satisfaction. Namely, the participants “experienced improvements in perceived stress”.
Other studies showed how affectionate communication — besides kissing — lowers cortisol levels, like hugging or saying “I love you”.
So, linking the act of kissing to other forms of romantic manifestations will promote even a bigger sensation of satisfaction and relationship happiness.
Kissing is communicating love without words
Kissing is more than two lips coming together. Romantic kissing promotes the relationship’s health and longevity.
It’s by kissing your partner that you bond, that you connect with their emotions and offer them your own.
Kissing has a language of its own. If you pay attention, you’ll absorb how your partner feels: their feelings for you, their mental state, their needs and desires.
Through a kiss, they will show you how much they missed you, how much you matter; how much they want you in their life. And you, them.
You can expose your soul by kissing.
For your own happiness and the happiness of your relationship, kiss more!
© 2021 Emma London. All Rights Reserved.