When the cowgirl gets tired of riding, these tips come in handy.
I love to vary in sex positions. Each one gives me different feelings; because of the angle of the penetration, because it brings me closer to my partner, or because it triggers the physical and mental sensations I’m craving.
Sex positions help you explore sexual pleasure to its fullest potential.
I have some favourite positions, as I think everybody has. If I’m in a sweet romantic mood, my to-go positions are the Missionary and the Lotus. If I’m in an active mood (read: wild), the cowgirl is always part of the scene.
Unfortunately, for the last months, I’ve been suffering from severe back pain (I finally discovered I had two misplaced vertebrae) which meant sex had often to be adjusted. Often, my partner and I had to have sex in positions adequate for my back.
But loving the cowgirl as much as I do, I found ways to have sex in this position, at least for some minutes.
Because I’m sure I’m not the only one who suffers from back pain, the hips or legs getting tired, or struggles to keep the rhythm, I’m writing this piece with suggestions on how to make the cowgirl more comfortable and pleasurable for the person on the top.
But let’s start by exploring the cowgirl position:
What is the sex position Cowgirl?
Also known as the “woman-on-top” position, on the cowgirl one partner will lie down on their back and the other will sit on them. For the sake of this piece, please consider it’s a vulva owner on the top.
The person on the bottom will have the spectacular view of their partner’s breasts, her face and the waving movement of her body, while she’s satisfying both, simultaneously.
In this position, the person on the top has full control of the penetration: the movements, the depth and the rhythm.
However, with a few adjustments, the control can be shared, and the position slightly changed so the person on the top won’t get tired or be in pain.
The cowgirl is great for the woman on the top, as it promotes lots of friction on the clit and because we are in charge of the penetration, we can manipulate the movements in a way that fully satisfies us.
As much as your partner might know your body and how to satisfy you, you’re the only one that knows exactly when to thrust deeper or faster or “a bit to the left!”. The woman-on-top positions always give you control.
Before we go to the tips I have for this sex position, allow me to share a piece of advice:
Focus on yourself
Sex is often a selfish act. I see nothing wrong with that. As long as both partners have fun and receive pleasure, each one can work on their own to receive it.
Of course, I’m not defending one shouldn’t listen to the other’s body language and signals — this is not mutual masturbation.
Finding a balance between selfish sex and altruistic sex is the ideal.
Release your powerful sexual being and chase your own pleasure shamelessly. Trust that you’re both having a great time.
By focusing on yourself, you’re offering the pleasure you deserve and often, other sex positions can’t give you.
If like me, you belong to the 70% group of women that don’t orgasm with penetrative sex only (we also need clitoral stimulation), the cowgirl position is perfect as it offers both penetration and clit stimulation.
So ride your partner with all you got and enjoy the pleasure this sex position gives: for both of you.
Let’s now see how to make the cowgirl a comfortable position for the woman on the top:
6 Ways to make cowgirl sex more comfortable and pleasurable for women
#1 Change the grinding motion
Despite the cowgirl sex position is a more intense, thrusting one, it doesn’t mean you have to ride your partner the whole time.
When you get tired, or your hips, legs or back complain, alternate the bouncing with grinding.
This will still be very pleasurable for you two, and yourself in particular, because you’ll be focusing more on the clit stimulation than on the penetration pleasures.
By using your hips to move — to the sides, back and front, circular movements, or wherever your body takes you — you’re relieving the effort you were putting on your body.
#2 Tuck your legs in
If you struggle to coordinate the movement or your body needs more stability, tucking your legs under your partner thighs is a great help.
This option might not be ideal for people who suffer from knees problems but otherwise is a helpful trick.
#3 Be gentle to your knees
For people with knees problems, being on the top during sex can be hard. The cowgirl position is a bad one, as it demands lots of pressure on the knees.
But you can adjust the position to serve you best.
If you’re on a hard surface, place cushions under your knees. If your problem is putting pressure on them, support yourself on your feet.
Another option is the reverse cowgirl (where you are in the same position, but with your back turned to your partner). This will allow you to bend over, and release the knees a bit, as you can use the hands — placed on your partner’s thighs — to control the movement.
#4 Support your weight on your partner or the headboard
Because of my back pain, I use this strategy a lot. Often not much because I’m in pain, but to prevent it.
What I do is lay my hands on my partner’s chest and support my body on him while I bounce up and down. Sometimes I also lean back and place my hands on his thighs.
Another option besides your partner’s body is the headboard. Hold it and use it to help you with your movements.
This last option is also perfect for you to have a break. Grab the headboard, elevate your body a bit and then play only with the tip of the penis. It’s a soft penetration, but very sensual and pleasurable, for you two.
#5 Let your partner help you
Just because you’re in charge of the movements, it doesn’t mean your partner can’t be of help.
When you need a break, let them know and hold on to the headboard or place your hands on their chest and raise your hips. Then, let them do the thrusting for a bit. But be aware that this will be hard for them, so it can’t be for long.
Your partner can also place their hands on your hips for extra leverage.
There’s no set rule that you can’t suspend the thrusting for a moment.
When I’m giving a blowjob, I have to give my jaw a rest from time to time. This doesn’t mean the pleasure stops — I keep playing with my partner’s penis, with my mouth (licking for example) and hands. I just won’t suck him until I’m ready again.
The same principle applies to cowgirl: if you’re tired, stop the thrust and keep the flame burning in different ways.
You can reach back for their balls or anus, stimulate the inner thighs or their chest. You can kiss, or you can play with a vibrating sex toy.
The grinding doesn’t have to stop completely, you can gently move your hips if you wish/can.
When you recover from the discomfort, get back to business! But if you don’t recover, please change position, don’t make yourself have sex with pain or discomfort, ever.
When having sex, you don’t have to maintain the same position, rhythm or movements patterns all the time. We’re not robots! Sex is supposed to be fun and pleasurable, and that hardly happens if you follow hard rules (except having explicit consent, that one is unnegotiable.)
If you love the cowgirl sex position but can’t hold it for longer, communicate it to your partner and agree to try it for as long as it’s comfortable for you.
Hopefully, the suggestions I shared in this article will make the experience orgastic!
© 2021 Emma London. All Rights Reserved