A Sex List For When Your Relationship Is at the Mercy of Boredom, by Emma London

A Sex List For When Your Relationship Is at the Mercy of Boredom

10 suggestions for your sex(y) list.


No matter how much you love your partner and how well you two get along, if you’ve been in lockdown together or if now you both work from home, it’s inevitable that boredom and monotony will try to make their way in.

The most efficient way to prevent boredom from hijacking your relationship is to add novelty to it.

One way you can do this is by elaborating a sex list — a blueprint of pleasure.

The best way to do yours is to focus on pleasure, to leave your restrains and inhibitions at the door.

Innovating and doing things together is the best way to rekindle the flame of your relationship.

How to elaborate your sex(y) list

There’s no science here; it’s as easy as doing a shopping list. Pick up a pen and paper or open your notes app and start putting down your most intimate desires.

Your sexual desires don’t have to be something new. It can be, of course, but it can also be something you truly enjoy doing with your partner and you haven’t done it for a while.

We all know that busy schedules often steal from us the ability to purposely making time for a specific activity. Also, if you’re in lockdown with your partner, that per se, is a sound reason to fall into a monotonous “same old same old”. The motivation to do something new or more daring is nowhere to be found.

Being alert to the dynamics of your relationship and questioning things is one way to predict its success.

You should acknowledge what’s happening in your relationship and when you spot things that need work, you should act.

If your sex life got lukewarm, I recommend you take a serious look at it and think about how to rekindle the flame. My suggestion is to create a sex(y) list. I’m sure it will help you.

Desires you can include on your sex(y) list

You and your partner better than no one knows what will have an awakening effect on your relationship, but I guess external contributions can be welcomed.

Here’s a list of ten activities that will certainly give a boost of energy to your relationship.

1. Have morning sex

Why not start your plan of adding novelty to your sex life first thing in the morning?

Morning sex has many benefits, including giving your partner the sense of prioritising your relationship — you made time to be, intimately, together.

2. Read erotica together

Erotica’s a great addition to your life. Not only empowers you sexually (by stimulating your curiosity and creativity), as it spices your sex life.

As a couple, you can read the same book together or, even better, one of you read it out loud for the other.

Then, collect the (delicious, sexy fruits) that this moment offered you.

3. Have a quickie

As much as counter-intuitive this might sound — after all, the list has the purpose of making you spend sexy quality time with your partner — a quick fuck is an amazing way to connect.

Getting them by surprise with a horny, spontaneous seduction is undoubtedly a way to spice things up.

4. Have slow sex

Having a delicious, slow sex session is a beautiful way to connect to your partner.

Slow sex is emotional, it promotes a bond between a couple in a very special and intimate way.

5. Have sex in the shower

Why not surprise your partner when they’re having a shower and join them?

Shower sex is fun, different and very pleasurable!

6. Make a striptease for your partner

This will definitely get your partner by surprise. I’m sure they will love it and you both will have a great time together.

If you need tips on how to perform a seductive striptease, here’s an article on the topic.

7. Watch porn together

I agree that the suggestion of watching porn with your partner (or by yourself) is not for everybody.

But if you’re open to the idea, watching porn as a couple can be an excellent addition to your relationship.

Among the benefits of watching porn together we have these: improvement in your sexual communication, it deepens intimacy and strengthens your relationship.

You can read more about it in my piece Here are the benefits of watching porn with your partner.

8. Have a thirty minutes session of foreplay (minimum)

Foreplay is often neglected, and that’s a big mistake.

Foreplay is more than physically preparing the body for sex, to warm it up. It’s about emotionally connecting with your partner. It’s allowing the outside world to stay away from the bed (from your mind).

Foreplay is fundamental to a pleasurable and complete sex life. If you’ve been skipping this precious part of sex, now it’s time to make up for it.

9. Vanilla Bondage

Sex is whatever you make of it, and you and your partner will go as far as you both wish.

Bondage is one of my favourite kinks. I love to have my arms and legs tied up and to allow my partner to deliver me pleasure. Maybe this is too much for you, but the good thing is that you can adjust the kinks to your preferences.

If you or your partner are curious about bondage, why not start with a vanilla version?

Instead of restraining both arms, restrain only one, or pin down your partner and hold their wrists with your hands. Who knows if you’ll find something incredibly pleasurable to add to your relationship?

In this piece, I take you through a guide on how to safely explore vanilla bondage.

10. Try a new sex toy

I guess I left the best for last. If you’ve been reading my work, you know how much I love sex toys. Besides giving pleasure, they add fun and intimacy to sex.

My last suggestion will be for you and your partner try a new sex toy. Or, if you don’t want to buy one, use a sex toy you haven’t used for a while.

There are many other things you can add to your sex(y) list. It all depends on what you two feel comfortable with. You can add dirty talk, sex in the car, blindfolded sex… the options are immense.

The point of making a sex(y) list is to bring some novelty to your relationship and fight back the boredom that once in a while seems to set.

Grab your notebook and start yours. Have fun!


®2021 Emma London. All rights reserved.

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