The reasons I love 69-ing, unlike most people.
As a sex blogger, I read a lot about sex. Not only for inspiration and ideas to write about but also as part of my self-educating process. I believe that until the day I die, I’ll be learning (and trying) new things.
A common topic I read about, it’s the sex position 69.
Often, I read about how “uncomfortable” and “awkward” it is.
As much as I can visualise what the writers are talking about, those things never made my 69 less pleasurable.
I love oral sex – to give and to receive it. So merging both acts in one is sexy af. But I know I’m a minority in my preference.
This online survey examined 500 Americans and 500 Europeans’ sexual preferences. The results showed that the 69 is not on the top list, not even close!
69 is the third less preferred sex position! Sponning holds the second last place and being held up, the last.
Only 14.6% of American and 14% of European men stated 69 is their preferred sex position. The women enjoy it even less: only 9.9% of American women and 9.9% of European.
Allow me to present my arguments on why 69 is one of my favourite sex position. Another one is the scissors. I explained here why I love it so much.
What is 69?
The sex position 69 happens when both partners are giving, simultaneously, oral sex to each other.
It’s named like that because of the way the bodies connect during the act. The number 69 is like a visualisation of the position (the circle of the digits being the heads of the lovers.)
Both partners will lie down in opposite directions, so each one can access the other’s genitals.
You can have 69 in different positions: both laying side by side, one at the top of the other and, for those with acrobatic abilities, one standing up and the other upside down.
Let’s now go through the main reasons for so many people don’t list the 69 on their favourite sex positions:
“69 needs a lot of coordination”
One thing the “haters” of 69 claim is that it demands lots of coordination.
Giving and receiving oral at the same time can be tricky, but it doesn’t have to be an issue.
When doing a 69, you don’t need to always be active. You can stop for a moment and be merely a receiver; to take in all the pleasure your partner is giving you.
When having a 69, I always stop giving head to my partner when I orgasm. He keeps going; I have an awesome climax and then I resume my activity.
Despite being a simultaneous sexual act, just the fact you are there — with your face on your partner’s genitals — , is already so sexy! Because you stop to blow or lick for a moment, doesn’t mean you ended the 69.
And you have hands, so use them when you need to take a deep breath or to relax your neck. Your partner will still be in full pleasure with you.
“You can’t breathe properly”
I can understand this statement. With a 69 where my partner is on top of me, he has to be conscious of the pressure he does. The last thing we want is for me to choke on his penis.
Again, there are alternatives to the position. Personally, I usually get on top of my partner or we’re both on our sides.
But when I’m at the bottom, we make it work: he leaves space between his hips and my mouth; it’s me who controls how deep I take him, and I have space to breathe, even if I have to turn my face to the side once in a while.
“My neck hurts”
To this I say: get a pillow.
I’m not defending 69 as the most comfortable position of all, but it can be as comfortable as you make it.
If lying on top or bottom of your partner doesn’t work for you, try laying side by side. Or experiment with one laying on the bed and the other standing (I love this version!)
Our bodies can entangle in many ways — be creative!
“It’s hard to cum at the same time”
Is there a position where it’s easy?
Orgasming at the same time is never a priority when I’m having sex. Despite being great when it happens (which is rare), I never chase it.
The extras I add on my 69-ing
If you read my work, you know I’m a sucker for sex toys. My partner and I use it often and we make them work in any position. 69 included.
Adding anal stimulation to the 69 is like the cherry on top of the ice-cream.
But if you don’t enjoy having things up your butt, try the lighter version and stimulate your partner on the external part of the anus and their perineum — both zones are charged with nerve endings, making them erogenous areas.
Fingering the ass while 69-ing is so pleasurable — as a giver and a receiver.
When my partner fingers me during a 69 I always get a triple blended orgasm (anus, clit and G-spot). And him, a double one: P-spot and penile orgasms.
Rimming is the act of giving oral sex to your partner’s anus. It’s not everybody’s preferences but those who do it, usually have a great time with it.
Adding rimming to 69 makes the entire experience even more pleasurable.
It’s rare to use this toy during a 69, but it happens. I get so turned on when my partner goes down on me, that his tongue and fingers are enough stimulation.
But sometimes we invite the clit vibrator to the party.
Balls and Labia play
I’m passionate about my partner’s balls. I always include the balls in sex.
69 is the perfect position to give your man extra love to the balls.
The same way, 69 is amazing to give the labia more attention.
My labia is a super-sensitive area for me, so either when my partner he’s masturbating me or going down on me, applying pressure, licking and sucking my labia is the perfect way to make me cum hard.
So, when we’re 69-ing, we both offer the other balls and labia extra attention, at the same time.
Sex is not supposed to be tidy and all-cleanly. It involves two (or more) bodies sweating, cumming, moving, changing positions, sometimes bumping into each other.
Awkard things can happen during sex and that’s ok!
Accept it and you’ll feel much more comfortable and confident about whatever happens during the act. Including letting yourself enjoy a 69.
I say this because I think 69 is a position that requires some vulnerability. You will have your sexual partner’s face between your legs — you are completely exposed, and that can be intimidating. But only if you allow it.
Don’t miss the opportunity of having great fun and pleasure with 69 because of mental restrains.
Try it with an open mind and a few plan B’s (a pillow, changing position, using the hands…) and then let me know if you’re part of the majority that doesn’t appreciate this sex position or, like me, you love it!
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