Why the Lotus Sex Position Is One of My Favourites, by Emma London

Why the Lotus Sex Position Is One of My Favourites

What makes this sex position so extraordinary?

If you ask me what’s my favourite sex position, I’ll tell you it’s impossible to choose one — it all depends on my mood. I guess it’s like that with everybody, right?

Yet, I can answer you with a list of six favourite sex positions. I tried a list of five, but I couldn’t let go of one.

In no particular order, I love the cowgirl, standing position, doggy style, missionary positionscissors, and the lotus.

The first three are my favourites for when I’m in a dominant and wild mood, the other three when I’m feeling more romantic or craving for emotional connection more than a physical one.

What is the lotus sex position?

The lotus is a sex position where both partners are sitting down, one on top of the other.

The penetrating partner will sit down, cross-legged, and the other partner will sit on them, face-to-face, wrapping the legs around their torso. It’s like a full-body hug.

The bodies will be locked, wrapped in each other.

In this position, it will be the person on the top that will control the movements. Personally, I love when my partner holds my hips and pulls me against him. But I also love when he lets me in command of the moving and holds me tight.

In the traditional lotus sex position (I’ll present its variations), the partner on the top will do most of the moving. Because of the lack of space between the bodies, this will be more a grinding movement and less a thrusting.

What makes the lotus sex position so extraordinary?

There are several reasons the lotus is on my top list of favourite sex positions:

Intimacy to the deepest level

As I said, I’m not able to choose a favourite sex position, mainly because of the mood. If I’m in a wilder, kinky mood, no way I’ll have sex in the lotus position.

But if I’m in a sweet, devoted, loving mood, the missionary or the lotus are the positions. For me, the lotus is the most intimate sex position of all.

No other position will bring you closer and intimate with your partner than the lotus.

You’re facing each other, so close that your bodies are almost merged. For me, it feels like that.

Another thing about lotus that promotes beautiful intimacy and bonding is that you can hug each other.

Other positions will make it possible to hug, but none with such closeness and sweetness as the lotus.

Besides hugging, the lotus also gives you the opportunity to kiss without stopping or adjusting the position of your love-making.

You can also touch your partner’s body, and you have more body available to explore, with your hands or mouth.

Clitoral stimulation

Any position where the woman is on top is an excellent position for clitoral stimulation (hello, cowgirl!).

For me, having sex in a lotus position makes it particularly easy to orgasm, mainly because of two reasons: 1) I get lots of clitoral stimulation and, 2) it’s emotional sex.

And, as I explained before, emotional sex triggers my orgasm.

But even focusing solely on the physical part of this sex position, the fact that I’m on the top, and I rock my hips in a back-and-forth motion (instead of bouncing), gives my clit perfect stimulation, at the same time I’m being penetrated.

Besides the amazing pleasure, it increases my chances of having a blended orgasm.

It’s perfect for slow sex

Slow sex is a sweet, bonding way to have sex with your partner.

Because in the lotus position you won’t have much space to thrust, your movements will be slower and shorter, which usually we adopt during slow sex.

As it’s also a more intimate position, it has everything you need to make it a special slow moment.

Frees the hands

Being sit and facing each other, both partners will have their hands free to caress the other; to hug, to feel the skin, the hair, the curves…

In the lotus position, the movement is controlled by the hips of the person on the top, which makes it a hands-free position, as you don’t need them to support yourself. This is also great for the next point:

Easy to add sexual toys

I’ll be honest: despite loving to use sex toys, when having sex in the lotus position, it’s only my partner and me, I don’t think I ever included a toy during lotus.

But this is a great position to add a bullet vibrator or a butt plug. And you can add additional stimulation like nipple clamps.

Like with most sexual positions, the lotus has several variations.

Each one will produce distinct sensations because your body will be positioned differently.

Here are 5 variations of the lotus sex position (names of my making):

1. Stretched lotus

This version is particularly useful for people with tight hips.

Instead of the partners having their legs crossed, they have them stretched.

Often my partner and I start the lotus position in the upright version to end it in a stretched version. Me because of my hip and my partner because of his knee.

2. Hands back

In this version, one partner — or both — will be leaned back, with their hands resting in the mattress, the weight of their upper body is supported by the arms (and not put on the legs of the bottom partner.)

This can be done in the original version of the lotus and in the stretched one.

Personally, I love to have my hands on the mattress and my partner holding me by my hips, helping me to control the thrust.

Having your hands back in the lotus position will make it a bit less intimate and slow, and more active. Still, it will remain one of the best sex positions.

3. Reverse lotus

The same way we have cowgirl and reverse cowgirl, we have lotus and reverse lotus.

The concept is the same: maintain the position but the person on top will have their back to their partner.

The body proximity will still be the same, you’ll only lose the eye contact.

4. Flexible lotus

This version is for people who are extra flexible. Not to brag, but I’m one of those and I have so much pleasure with this version of the lotus!

In this variation, instead of the partner on the top having their legs around their partner’s waist, they will position them on their shoulders; the feet will be in the air.

During flexible lotus, the penetration angle will be completely different; it’s perfect to hit the G-spot.

For lovers of anal sex, the flexible lotus it’s also amazing.

5. Kneeled lotus

If you have flexibility or hips problems, or you struggle to stay cross-legged for long, the kneeled lotus is the perfect alternative.

Instead of the partner on the top wraps their legs around the bottom, they will kneel. This will transfer the body weight from the hips to the legs.

The other advantage of this variation is that eases the bottom partner because the one on the top can lift their weight.

Being the only change in the position of the legs, all the benefits that come with the lotus position are still present.

6. Chair lotus

I love to have sex in a chair, so I’m a sucker for chair lotus.

Chair lotus is sensual, comfortable and very pleasurable.

For this position to work well, make sure you find a sturdy chair (falling on your ass is not the plan) and it doesn’t have armrests.

In this variation, you can have face-to-face lotus sex or in a reverse position. Why not trying both?

Challenges of the lotus position

The lotus position is not the easiest one to pull off, for several reasons. But thanks to its variations, you can make it work, even if just for a couple of minutes.

Lack of flexibility

To perform the lotus position — in its original version (upright) — you must be able to sustain having your hips open for some amount of time.

If it’s not the case, you can opt for the stretched lotus.

Hips or knee problems

If you have hips or knee problems, the lotus position can be challenging.

But you can try using one of the variations, or add a pillow or wedges, to help you with the posture.

Different heights

If one partner is tall and the other is short, the lotus position might not be so effective, the chair lotus will be the best alternative.


The partner on the bottom might struggle to support the weight of the partner on the top.

The solution will be to adopt the kneeled lotus or the chair variations.

Sex can be very diverse. You can do it in the bed, on the sofa, in a chair, in the car, on the beach; with sex toys or without, and so on.

Personally, I love to experiment with several positions; it gives me and my partner different sensations and sensorial stimulations.

This is not to say that every time I have sex, I go through the Kamasutra book — absolutely not. I have my “go-to” positions, where lotus is included.

If I had to choose a few sex positions (please not less than six), definitely the lotus would be part of it. It’s sensual, pleasurable and romantic. For me, it’s a must-have.

© 2021 Emma London. All Rights Reserved

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